Monday, August 23, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
And it is true that vacations always make me happy… when they end. Nothing brightens my day like the news that I can stop paying hundreds of dollars a day to use stuff I can use at home for free.
When it did, we raced for the gondola ride, which I thought might give us a good overview of the park. It turns out the gondola ride moves at roughly the same speed as the old woman in the commercial who has fallen and can’t get up. This made for one LONG ride, inching along with our feet dangling thirty feet above the hot pavement. Instead of traversing the park, giving us the reconnaissance I had hoped for, it made a small loop in the one corner of the park we had already seen. Scratch off the first 45 minutes of our thrilling day!
After this yummy lunch of white dough, tomato sauce and "real" cheese came the interesting challenge of finding a place to sit by the giant wave pool. With arms loaded with bag and towels I walked past maybe 500 chaise lounges, each with a towel or a pair of sunglasses on it to “hold” it. Finally, incredibly, I found the one open lounge in the entire park! I put our stuff there, rechecked to make sure I still had my sunglasses, and started off to find wife and child.
Just steps away I was accosted by an angry New Yorker who accused me of stealing his chair and rifling through his property. “The chair was empty,” I assured him. “No it wasn't,” he said. I used to argue with this kind of goon, sometimes receiving a fat lip for my trouble, always receiving a dose of adrenaline sufficient to make my eyeballs vibrate out of my head. Now I take a cue from the pastor of my church: I make my voice very small and say: "Okay."
This doesn't do much for my action hero self image but it does help ensure that my feet reach the ground the rest of the day. It also scores points with the wife who really doesn't need me to provide drama.
It was around this time that my son, wife and I all noticed that our bare feet were beginning to blister from hours of standing and walking on hot concrete with no place to sit. I cautiously asked if anyone was ready to go and tried to conceal my joy when it was unanimous: oh yes.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
I voted for Reagan, the second time, and I will vote Republican again the day the Democrats create greater incentives to not work than work, impose so much regulation they strangle business, and tax to the point where they drain the economy of its lifeblood.
We're not there yet, folks. Not even close.